If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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