I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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