Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
