this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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