i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
