The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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