So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
