dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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