she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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