i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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