I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
