Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
