i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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