I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
