im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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