Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
