Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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