Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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