he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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