Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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