I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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