So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
