All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
