I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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