Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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