if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
