my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
