You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
