dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
