you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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