we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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