you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Pants are for mortals
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
