Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
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