It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
