Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize