I wish life had little blips of pornography
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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