if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
