I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And then the night went full on bisexual.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
