Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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