I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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