All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
