what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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