Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
