Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
