White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
