you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So much Jack, so little girl.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize