I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
this boner is exhausting
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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