their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
