Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
and she was petting her beer can
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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