So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Randomize
