and you said cock pushups were impossible
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
