Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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