whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why can't burritos get me drunk
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
