laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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