Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
