didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How does one acquire holy water?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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