Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
