No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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