I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
